Sudden death, or terminal illness

I am interested to know of your experiences - either having lost a loved one very suddenly, or lived in the knowledge that someone close to you was, or maybe is dying. Please comment, anonymously of course if you prefer, to get across feelings - or any other information about how you dealt with, or are dealing with one of these death situations. For example, is it true that when you are living with someone you know is dying, that you do much of your grieving 'up front'; or how does coping with terminal illness affect later memories of that person? And with sudden death - do you feel there are long term effects which maybe are not apparent (perhaps due to shock?) at the time of death, with later cause a reaction?

Thank you to those who feel able to share their experiences here.

Do we have any choice about when we die?

You sometimes hear tales of people 'hanging on' to see someone, before they finally take their last breath; say when people have travelled from afar to visit someone on their deathbed. Do others reading this have any experience of that happening? Could it possibly be there are circumstances in which people can subconsciously 'time' their own death? What do you think?

Funeral etiquette

Funerals are never going to be happy events, but in recent years they have perhaps become less formal - with people emphasising the celebration of life, and in some cases introducing a humanist delivery, rather than reverting to the traditional Vicar and religion without any true meaning to the non-believers out there. Handpainted coffins, children's poems, friends' memories, and a whole variety of music all now often play a part in the end of life ceremony.

Have you any tales to tell, or experiences of an unusual send off?

Indeed, do you have any ideas about your own funeral - how you would like it to be, whether you want to play any part in planning it, songs or readings you may have chosen for the 'event'. Please do share with us your thoughts.

Have you made a will?

Apparently over 60% of people have not made a will, even though we all know that it is best, and helps our nearest and dearest when we die, meaning that the estate is distributed in a timely manner, in accordance with the deceased's wishes.

Why this gap in reality and common sense action?

Assisted suicide

I think things are beginning to change on this front. About time. There should be more choice, for those who want it.

Burial spots

I wouldn't mind being buried in my garden.

How has the death of someone affected you?

Everyone is different, and a death can affect us in a variety of ways. Please share here, how the death of someone has made YOU feel. Tell us if there was an unexpected, or even delayed reaction which you were not expecting? It is not always easy to say these things to your nearest and dearest ...but here you are just you, and your experience could help someone else who comes and reads this Blog. Or, the experience of just saying how you feel here, may help you.